I know blah blah blah blah I’m sorry, I was gone again for a period. I needed my space okay. Recently there has been something seriously bugging me in life. Why does our interest in others seem so imperative, yet to the other person we are just something that comes and goes. Maybe I’m just to young and naive, I know people are shit. So why can’t I erase that part of my life. Life is simply a bitch. Life is that one little bitch that never stops bugging us. I don’t know where I’m going with this post, but I am going to rant.
Ive never been so angry as much as I am now. I wasted months investing my time into someone who didn’t look my way twice. No I actually wasted years on someone who manipulated my feelings. Brought me down, broke me, and kicked me to the side. When you open you’re heart to a person prepare for the worst. Sure life is an amazing beautiful creature, but love is a fucking bitch. I was never prepared for this growing up. Actually none of us were. We were all manipulated into thinking that if we gave our whole to another, we would simply get back what we give out to the earth. Instead we waste days,months, and years on another only to be unsatisfied with our results. This year has felt like a complete rollercoaster. I peaked interest, I found lust, and kinda found a part of love. I hate it when people say they are in love when its obvious they aren’t, so I won’t be one of those. I was in like. When you waste months emailing, and waiting for someone patiently you’d think things would finally turn out.
What I am trying to say is make sure you are ready to hurt, when you give yourself to another. The pain could feel like a lifetime.
I am actually doing amazing though, life is amazing, and the people in my life are awesome. I just wanted to completely leave 2015 by itself completely. I want to look onto another leaf and forget about the past. I don’t want you nor I to worry anymore, creases won’t help emotionally.
Always & Forever,